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I hear your heart

Yesterday I had a hard day. A busy day. A day where I was pulled in every direction. At one point, someone asked if I had a minute and all I could promise them was 15 seconds … and then the phone rang and their time was up. Seriously, it was that busy.

I had to semi-fire a freelance designer and I felt terrible but I think he was quite relieved to have the subject addressed. I know how hard it is as a freelancer to turn down work – you never want to admit defeat or say no just in case you jinx yourself and never get work again.

I was faced with decisions being questioned and changes being made at the last minute, which should never surprise me but that continue to frustrate my sense of order and organisation. In my mind, once something has been signed off, it’s done. Approved. Stamped. Move on. But alas, people continue to think and mutter and throw spanners in the works. Note to self: never give my boss an actual spanner. Imagine the damage that could be done with the literal over the metaphorical. Printers would never work again.

Yesterday was a day where I could have stayed at work until 7pm just to get through the emails and detrius on my desk. But alas, yesterday was also the only night this week that I had plans after work, necessitating a prompt 5pm end to the workday. So the stress built.

And when I came home to quickly drop off my stuff and grab The Boy to go out, I felt like crying and curling up on the couch. But then The Boy made it all better.

He made me a music video for my birthday. Now, it’s true that my birthday was a month ago but he’s been trying to get it finished for ages and last night, it was done. It was the perfect day for it. I cried while I watched it.

I cried because, without knowing about my day, about my stress, about my funk, he chose the perfect time to show me how much I’m loved, how lucky I am and what actually matters. Him. Me. Us. Passion – ours and my own.  I think it’s too easy to forget the really important things as we fill our days with meetings and agendas and projects. When we’re pulled in every direction, we need to stop and find our true north. My true north is with The Boy. It’s writing, it’s creating, it’s not trying to be Perfect.

Sometimes we need to take a breath and listen to our hearts. Scratch that – why only do it sometimes?

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Author:

Writer, editor, wife, mother. I snatch moments to myself to read between nappy changes, work and chasing a toddler who is determined to destroy ALL THE THINGS. Welcome.

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